Saturday, July 14, 2012
revised for art
Every day I come a little bit closer to death. The clock ticks and my body breaks down. It is no longer developing; it is decaying slowly and sending me postcards from the other side. Having fun tossing it around like a ragdoll has done me no favors. A once fresh and arrogant piece of meat is now bruised and battered. Do you like it when you limp, do you like it when your heart skips a beat, and how does it make you feel when you can’t lay in bed because your shoulders pop out of socket? Think of the seconds of the past now calculate the years of the future, was it worth it? Watch what you eat and monitor the air that you breathe this is your destiny. Things of the past that intrigued you by the way it mad you fell are now rotting your flesh and decomposing your mind. Your hands once shaped, cleaned and reassembled things now lay on the stainless steel lifeless clicking and moving while trying to maintain contact with the brain. Eyes are fading and memories become things of the past that you cannot recall. Stop, think, don’t do it, it’s only pain. I still see the light and want to bask in its glory but I must remain on the sideline waiting to die. We all will, but I don’t want to. Fear of dying is now taking up 20% of my daily computing capacity. I now notice that the work I do is 20% slower and less effective than it use to be. Soon my life will be consumed by death and I will cease to be able perform any normal human interaction. Quiet in a corner waiting for the end I will be reborn with no fear, knowing the end means nothing and I really only mattered to a select few. I will be in the valley of death laughing at the existence I once knew. Be kind to those you care for and treat yourself good. Live every minute to the fullest because life isn’t so serious and we truly have no idea what happens when the light turns off.