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He would do anything that I want to make the situation right, but his situation has no bearing on my current place in life. I try to smile and say it’s ok but I know I’m as transparent as a display window. Today is a day when my body has no concern for me and is preparing to die. I’m not happy with its decision to shut down so I fight it and drag it along with me on my daily tasks. Unwillingly it comes along burping and shitting itself with no respect for those around. They ask questions, “what’s wrong, why don’t you feel good, are you going to get better” and I stare at them with their stupid questions and try not to speak. Words hurt, thinking hurts, looking hurts, I hurt. In time it will go away and I will be free to roam once again but until then stay away and don’t talk to me. Today I need nothing but silence and time.